“First labours are never quick, right?!” Elisabeth's freebirth of her (11llb4oz) first baby.
“On 23rd November 2024, we went to bed for the final time as a family of two! Between around 10pm and midnight, I could sense something was shifting as I went to the bathroom a couple times - I knew from stories that my body was having a clear-out - and at midnight I lost some waters (I popped a pad on at this point in case I lost some more). I decided to message my doula, Lucy, to let her know something was happening and updated her with where I was at – I was so convinced that everything would stop when the sun came up. First labours are never quick right?! Lucy encouraged me to go back to sleep, but I really struggled to fall asleep, and I remember becoming very aware of my breathing. The contractions didn’t feel how I thought they would at this point even though they were close together. Reuben woke up at some point during this and checked I was okay. Around 1am, I gave up and waddled my way downstairs.
Downstairs, I put on my affirmation hypnobirthing track on my headphones and bobbed on my yoga ball while breathing through contractions. I knew I didn’t want to time my contractions throughout as it would be distracting and wouldn’t provide any extra information than my bodies instinct to birth my baby. However, I decided to download an app to time them for an hour to check they were as close together as I thought. On average, contractions were only 2-3 minutes apart and lasting between 40 and 60 seconds – things were obviously progressing quickly, but I was still convinced that baby wasn’t arriving that night!
Around 2am, I called up to Reuben to come and support so I could fully zone out and surrender to the surges on my way to labour land – spoiler alert, I didn’t get to go there! I remembered I needed to keep an eye on how full my bladder was and also noticed I’d lost some more waters, so I popped to the bathroom (breathing through contractions on the stairs) around 2.40 to change my pad and pee. Around this time, we decided it was time for Lucy to come over – I was still convinced that baby wasn’t arriving that night, but I still needed her support.
Around 3am I was violently sick (never seen Reuben move so fast to grab our pre-labelled ‘sick’ bucket!) and I started to be slightly more convinced that baby would maybe be making an appearance! I think Reuben was relieved to know Lucy was on her way and suggested that it was maybe time to put the pool up – I agreed. I relocated to the kitchen to bob in there while Reuben got the pool ready – the contractions ramped up and I started to lean into my body’s instinct to ‘moo’. Lucy arrived at some point during this – she was surprised to find me ‘mooing’ already.
Once the pool was pumped up, I was able to go back into the living room while it was filling with water and I decided it was probably time change from my pjs into my bikini top and tear away underwear (link) – amazing for those who don’t want to be naked the whole time but easy for a birth partner/you to rip off quickly.
I got into the pool around 5am where I continued to labour, and contractions continued to ramp up.
Around 6am my body had an urge to push, so I leant in and thought Baby Hall had just slipped out! – I thought amazing, nailed it, that was so easy! – but no, it was just the rest of my waters going… I was so convinced he had come out that I was searching around in the water for him, asking where he was… Lucy promised me they hadn’t lost my baby! There was still a long way to go.
Contractions really ramped up after this. I was sick again, which was horrendous. This meant that my stomach was now empty, and I was getting so tired.
Reuben was doing a great job of keeping me hydrated, and I think I remember some fro-yo bites at one point? But just frozen yoghurt on an empty stomach was not fuelling me!
We reckon that I was then in the ‘pushing stage’ for about two and a half hours – so around 7am, the contractions ramped up for the final time and the yelling began! It honestly felt like one long contraction, just constant, intense squeezing with no breaks. Baby was also hanging out in my pelvis just waiting for everything to stretch to let him out, so my sacrum was also incredibly painful at this point – yay giant babies! I settled into an almost horizontal position along the edge of the pool as I clung to the edge and tried to muffle my yells at the peak of each contraction and let the water keep me buoyant.
I noticed that it was getting light outside – I was not doing this again tomorrow night!
Fun times – I was then sick again with nothing but bile coming up and during contractions... In this phase I hit the ‘I can’t do this’ wall about three times! When Reuben and I talked about this later, he noted that I never asked to go to hospital or for pain relief - I didn’t want anything to change, I was just frustrated with how long it was taking at that level of intensity! There was lot of pushing and feeling like nothing was happening. But that wasn’t true at all. For me, my body just needed longer to allow everything to stretch so my giant baby would fit with minimal damage to my pelvic floor and perineum – that isn’t to say I wasn’t considering asking my husband and/or doula to just reach up and pull him out, the thought did cross my mind more than once!!
I was getting frustrated and exhausted. Lucy asked whether I wanted to reach in and see if I could feel him. I had decided very early on that I didn’t want vaginal exams, but I hadn’t given much thought to doing any myself – not necessarily to check dilation etc, but even just to have a root around! I reached in and couldn’t feel him, but things definitely felt different – I think what I could feel was my cervix being fully dilated (or at least pretty much).
Soon after, I reach down again to feel his head starting to bob out – his head had coned slightly and I think the cord was sitting across his head, so it felt very weird! I was very disappointed when he bobbed back in again! Come back!
A few more contractions/pushes, and his head finally came out! They say that in the next contraction the rest of the body slides out, but no… Something they don’t tell you is babies will generally still be living their wiggly lives and I could still feel him kicking his legs while inside me – it was both reassuring that he was okay but the most disgusting feeling ever – I remember telling him to ‘stop it’!! It was at least another 3 or 4 contractions and pushes before the rest of him decided to slide out – the relief!!
At 40+4 weeks, my baby was born!
I scooped my beautiful baby out of the water and onto my chest as I flopped onto the opposite side of the pool – it didn’t take him very long to cry, it was just a little cry – I knew he was fine in those few moments before a cry emerged because he pinked up, he was wiggling and his little eyes opened 😊 And then I noticed the rolls on his arms! Which was proceeded by me saying ‘what the fuck just happened?!’
I had just free-birthed my first baby at home!
We only stayed in the pool for about 5 minutes, checked what the time was and guessed when baby had been born – we’re going with 09.33!
I was getting a little chilly as we hadn’t topped the pool up with warm water for a few hours. As I stood up with baby in my arms, still attached to me via the cord, there was a gush of blood – I thought this was my placenta coming out so I was sad because I was getting it encapsulated and for sanitary reasons I needed to birth it on dry land. Thankfully it wasn’t. I think it was the gush that comes with the placenta detaching from the uterine lining.
The next hour and a half are then pretty hazy as I passed out a few times and I lost a lot of blood – technically speaking, I probably haemorrhaged (so some of this might be in slightly the wrong order!)
Before the next round of contractions started, Baby and I got some skin-to-skin time, breastfed a little and I was plied with food and drink – The tea with 3 sugars through a straw was definitely the highlight!
At some point, between the wooziness and wanting to be able to move, we decided it was a good time to cut the cord and for Reuben to take the baby for some skin-to-skin time – The cord was now white and floppy and we’d allowed a good amount of time to ensure that all of the blood had passed from the placenta to Baby 😊 We tied the cord with some string and Reuben cut the cord. This was such a sweet moment in between contractions that I was able to enjoy!
I only felt scared at one point when I couldn’t catch my breath, but otherwise I just rested as I trusted my body to expel the placenta. I’m not gonna lie, it was super uncomfortable, and I was getting incredibly frustrated – I just wanted to snuggle up and cuddle my baby – also, I’d just birthed a giant baby, why did I have to birth a placenta as well!!
I remember being in quite a lot of pain by this point, between my sacrum pain and the blood loss, I wasn’t able to stand up – which was incredibly frustrating because I knew gravity would probably help but I just couldn’t do it. Eventually I felt a pushing sensation which forced out a massive clot (which was the same size as the placenta!) and then I finally pushed the placenta out soon after – We think it was such a struggle because it was still pretty blood dense, so it was a lot to get out!
Man, I felt so much better after that!!
I was then plied with more food and drink!
Elisabeth recovers at home, in the comfort of her own surroundings and with the support of her community
I was obviously still very blood-deficient, but I stayed laying down on our sofa bed downstairs hydrating and eating lots of food and sugary snacks and could feel myself getting better.
A midwife arrived mid-afternoon to weigh and measure Baby and do all the paperwork. He was 5.14kg/11lb 4½oz!!
During this time, the midwife wanted to ensure that everything was working so I needed to go for a wee. Due to the pain, wooziness and general exhaustion, I attempted to make it up the stairs to the bathroom but ended up giving up after about an hour and accepting my fate to not sleep in my own bed that night and to sleep on the sofa-bed… In a truly humbling moment, I discovered that I would then need to pee in an adult diaper – no I was not happy about it, but needs must… yes, I peed in the diaper… while on all fours on my kitchen floor with 3 other people (plus Baby) in the next room!
The next 24 hours brought lots of baby snuggles, sticky meconium poos, breastfeeding, peeing in a diaper over a bucket and lots of food and drink!
And I made it upstairs (walking by myself!!) the following evening to sleep in my own bed 😊”